Into zazen

I've visited a 2 days silent retreat. It was at my friend's place somewhere in the forest near Çaçak, Serbia. I've never been there, and never attended any meditation retreat. So I haven't expected anything, rather than spending some time in silence with a couple of my friends. It turned out to be hard.

The place was beautiful. A house far from civilisation. Near a beautiful lake. There was a very well built meditation space separate from the living area. I believe it is one of a kind place in Serbia. I’ve only heard there is a buddhist monastery somewhere. And the rest of the country is full of christian churches. My friend used to live and practice in the mentioned temple for a long time. And he built the space on his owns land.

Between the land and the lake there was a thick area of huge swamp grass. Almost dry this time of year. I could grab a long stick of the grass and touch a person 5 meters away from me. There was a track just through the swamp grass 100 meters long, straight to the lake. A muddy brownish water, with some floating houses on the other side. Indeed it was aesthetically perfect, like a zen garden.

The retreat turned out to be organised into meditation sessions called Zazen. A lot of those sessions. Each was 30-45 minutes long with a 10 minutes walking meditation in between. We had a group of 9 people. We used to wake up at 5 and meditate for a couple of hours. Cook food, clean around. Have a breakfast, rest and meditate again. Eat, rest, meditate. Rest and meditate all the way till 9pm. Then we would sleep. It was quite crazy, I was not expecting to dive into this kind of practice.

We used a small bell to gather people. A big singing bowl to start and end each session. Everyone would sit in the calm comfortable space with mats and pillows. Some Buddha figurines, Tibetan mandalas around, candles and sticks. My friend would speak sometimes during the session, trying to guide people gently. Otherwise we would not talk, only had a necessary exchange about cooking and stuff like this.

You have to sit in some cross legged position with a straight spine and concentrate on the breath. Letting go of any thoughts, emotions and states. It is not as easy as it might sound. Especially I was not well prepared physically, so I had lots of pain to deal with. Last 2 sessions of the first day were exhausting, I wanted to escape. Started to look at the map and search for buses, but the closest village was quite far. So I endured the first day. Then the next day we were meditating till around 5 pm. After that we left to Belgrade with a couple of guys by car.

I returned back to my volunteering hostel place. And I noticed that I put more attention to the breath during my normal daily routines. Things like this may last for some time. The mind is like a muscle. It can be trained by putting a concentration effort. So it returns to the subject over and over again. By inertia. Until you put a significant focus on something else. Just have to focus for quite a while to set your mind on something. The breath is our life, so it is good to observe.

I would not go to the temple just to practice this kind of thing. But I can see it as a definite way for someone tired of everything around enough. Can be a great healing indeed. I had periods in life, when I wanted to withdraw to such a place. Usually I would end up going to the nature. If nothing else excites you in life, it can be a firm way to move forward. If you’re into this stuff, you can easily find a Zen temple in any asian country. May be you’ve seen some videos about those monasteries.

You don’t have to be in Asia though. As you can see it’s mainly about meditation, which does not require a monastery. So you can possibly find a meditation place in your country. Or people who want to practice it and try to build something together. In fact nothing is required - to go anywhere or do anything. It’s just easier to make food with a group and keep the routine for a while. Reinforce each other as a commune. Ideally the meditation is combined with some physical practice. To be able to keep the spine straight. Then it becomes easier to enjoy. I personally think you don’t need a Zen master to practice. Just read those koans to see that the greatest Zen master is indeed inside everyone of us. But you can rely on someone if you feel so.

It is hard man. If you hear zazen - run as fast as possible.. Or try it for a while to see where it can get you. Nothing to regret about, but lots of things to experience.