Rainy day in Struga

Today I was playing duduk 4 hours in a row. It was a “devil” energy channeled into playing around. Cause I have not bothered myself with the music theory. Just a blind opportunistic practice. I found that it is better than just drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes though. The only thing missing is an effort towards some theory. Which was always hard for me. But necessary to grow. And music theory is a language. It exists for a single reason to communicate music with other musicians. Create something together.

I really want to fly to another place at this point. Connect with like minded people. I know that I can always do everything in one point in space. But I feel that my ultimate home is a different environment. Here are guys playing some music and drawing. But also lots of alcohol and smoking. Both constructive and destructive energies are present. Just like in myself. But I feel pretty stuck in destructive for some reason.

It would be fair to say that you don’t need anyone in life. But there is a huge potential in doing something together with the one who can support you on a journey. Cause sometimes it is hard to notice that you little bit off balance with yourself, right? And what is the point of your journey, if you don’t share and cocreate the experience with others. Just like playing music. I imagine my friend (imaginary haha) would say “Hey you are a bit off track man, do you even see this joyful road we’re going by?”. So I see it as another attempt to change myself in order to change the external.